so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
