Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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