just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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