well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think i got beer on your cat.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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