OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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