we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
