The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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