Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
