I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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