Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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