They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
