you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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