How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
