Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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