my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
