We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
even my farts smell like vagina
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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