i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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