I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just had sex on a roof
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize