I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize