Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
