Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
