My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
