you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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