I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
