i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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