okay pat passed out under dana's car
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
