the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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