Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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