He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
