I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
