did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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