So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
