Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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