Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
