47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
