My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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