and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
