I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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