Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
