Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
