After last night, I could never be a politician.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
