rhymes with "ouble enetration"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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