Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
