"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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