It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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