Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize