A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers