"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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