nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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