I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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