are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
try to milk me bitch
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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