He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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