dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
